Life is a Friend
Hello lovely soul,
You’ve clicked on my blog this week, so you must be a curious one! Someone at the edge of familiar terrain, someone who is open . . . like I am. There are three days left until this blog is to be posted, and I’ve been waiting patiently to discover what I would be writing about. My brain is always percolating with ideas, which come from all angles of life. Eventually, enough of them will come together in a word snowball and something will present itself for me to roll down the page with. What seems to work for me as a writer, is to walk around doing life awaiting such moments. Today, I received the topics of this week's blog. I am to write about the healing of generational trauma, the importance of family, and the divine feminine. I also feel to touch on a spiritual principle presented in the recent vice-presidential debate. That debate was much more revealing than the recent presidential one, and I’m hoping that you all felt the same ‘thank goodness’ that I did, no matter which side of the election you find yourself on.
What is generational trauma? It is pain that has been carried down through generations. Shamans believe that it can be carried for seven lifetimes. Since it is part of the subconscious, we usually aren’t aware of how much it rules over our lives. For example, the lived experience of our great grandparents. If they were in a war, or experienced slavery or famine and never processed the experience, it will reincarnate through our DNA as their great grandchildren. At the root it is unprocessed pain, and it stays hidden by keeping ourselves small. If our family has any pain in the closet, the unconscious strategy of our being will be to push it under the rug and carry on with life. What most people are still unaware of is that the hidden pain doesn’t leave when that specific family member dies. It stays until someone in that family line chooses to look at it. The further we get from that pain in our awareness, the more addictions (varying from a substance to behaviour) can become an external way of searching for stability. Anyone on the path of inner work will discover their pain at some point in time, because we all have some. The closer that we get to that pain, the more we’ll feel it with understanding, and treat it respectfully like a valuable lesson. If we take the second path, eventually it will no longer wreak havoc. From small to big is another way of seeing it. If there is pain in the closet, we can choose to live in less of our home to avoid it, or we can choose to clean that closet out, and expand into the entire house. In between small and big is where the pain is and the choice to acknowledge it is one that comes from the soul.
Generational trauma, although something that I am well versed in, has always been a sensitive subject for me to talk about in public, but not because I am sensitive to my own experience. In a less public platform, if it helps give hope, reveal a lesson, or empathize with another, I can easily make space for the topic. My issue is not the content, but the private nature of the material to those I love. Today I find myself at a crossroads. I am softly living the solution to generational trauma, and because my heart’s compass is undeniably invested in healing the world around me, I want to offer that feeling up as a gift to the world. To do that, I must also reveal that the trauma was there in the first place.
Healing means that an intimate lesson is taking place between your heart and your soul. Although everyone's experience is unique, there is also commonality amongst the stages of expression that healing deeply requires. That's why there are way-showers, lovingly shining light in the places that they’ve come to know themselves. My heart is warm and soft as I reflect with gratitude on my journey to the other side of generational trauma. The softness in my current experience is what propelled this blog, but before I get there I am inclined to first connect with those of you who are in the throes of experiencing pain.
Know this: you have opened the door to your inner closet and you are a warrior of the highest caliber. I hold you unwaveringly in the gentle caress of goodness through my mind and heart, whispering that you are worthy. I know your pain is real, and the deep truth of your expression is valued beyond measure. Each of you have good angels sent directly to you from god to help you on your path. Against the adversities of darkness, the heart which is soft and true will always triumph.
Make time for yourself to find people in your life who can hold your pain with you, if only to allow you to breathe a moment of solace before you go back into the ring. Those types of people do exist. There is no escaping the battle in the inner realms of your heart that will have to be fought, but we should all experience loving support. Should you seek this support, I send you guiding thoughts from just ahead, cheering you on with complete faith.
Since being home, every time I’ve driven with a friend for the first time, we’ve driven through a rainbow. How neat! It feels like a message from my spirit guides saying, “Congratulations! An authentic rainbow bridge of connection has now been made.” The updated version of Marnie is reconnecting with her roots, encouraged by the presence of four rainbows and counting! After seven years of closet cleaning, reconciliation is happening. (I never said it was a quick process, but it does work!) I have pondered on how to move forward in my natural openness by sharing this experience, while also protecting the privacy of those close souls who exist within my realm. In order to keep the lives of those who have taught me these lessons private, I’ve chosen to simply call all of the characters in my story friend, which they truly are anyway! If this approach works, my life in words should become anchored to one very eclectic, multifaceted and all encompassing friend mirroring life back to me.
The ‘word snowball’ for this blog began to roll down the hill while I was sitting alone on my friends’ couch looking around at the walls of joy they had created in their home. I was witnessing the beauty and grace that a fellow light being was bringing to the planet. I felt grateful to be connected to a peer and in that moment, my heart felt so soft. Wow I thought, how did I get to this place? I reflected on the fact that I am now able to love each version of my friend in their own unique way. Since I’ve moved home, I’ve been blessed to witness my friends’ lives as they unfold, working alongside them as equals, sharing laughter, realness, and soft moments. Although there have still been arguments, the undercurrent has remained peaceful, as I am now strongly rooted in my centre.
Old wounds are healed or healing, and intentions flow naturally toward bonding and deeper understanding, rather than toward separation and boarding up. From disempowerment to empowerment, this is the journey.
When I had first arrived after moving from Van, this wasn’t just yet the case. There were still some old versions of myself that needed to be updated in order to really integrate the physical closeness that my moving home has supplied. Another aspect of my friend has a very strong will. If you don’t meet them at this very empowered level, (something they will welcome and embrace), there is the potential for your personal willpower to lose out over theirs. It’s a power dynamic and until it's made conscious it will likely go unnoticed. Because of this, it used to yield great pain. Generationally speaking, this is the relationship between the disempowered feminine and the toxic masculine. They are archetypes which are familiar to many of us and centre stage in this drama you will find the victim and the aggressor. Yet if we move into their 5th density or 5th dimensional perspective, the scenario can be seen in a more malleable way. From this perspective, we can see it’s just one energy field that has denied its own power, and another that is stuck in forcing its power onto others. They are two energy fields that are unable to yet rest in beingness.
Awakening, when it is the awakening of the divine feminine (or the awakening to feminine power), will go through an internal transformation that is fierce and fiery, while also vulnerable and oozing with soft love. The feminine essence has a history of being used and abused in our society so it’s a journey that carries a lot of pain, and on the journey it’s important to feel all of it. When you do, you’ll develop the ability to meet others with it’s forceless emanation of strength.
When the divine feminine awakens, it’s essence is the absolving nature of a compassionate heart, and this is the missing component that society today deeply needs.
It is the part of humanity that can actively clean out our collective closet. Compassion has the ability to see, with open eyes, whatever arises. It respects the boundaries of others because there is a deep understanding of the other through love. In an energy field that has awakened to this power, the torch of the witness, of seeing, of shedding light—before action, elevates. What it creates is a space that fosters co-creation, growth through differentiation, and blooms of beauty.
In the light of compassion the toxic masuline evolves from toxic to protective and just like that, we can see that it was only toxic because of what was hiding inside the closet.
The counterpart to the divine feminine is the divine masculine, and inside the awakening process of each of us there lives both. There is a chapter to our internal growth where this happens: with goodness and self worth shining, when the boundaries of our individual being are crossed, the masculine also rises. The masculine is finally able to see what is there and awakens to protect this affront to sacred land. If necessary, a noble battle would be fought. For each human being, the sacredness of who you are must be given the ability to protect and defend. It is sacred, and this is a universal right which each of us have.
I grew up in a family with addiction (like many people do), which creates trauma based relational dynamics. Suffice to say there was a lot in the closet that needed to be cleaned out. Addiction is a painful experience for everyone involved and at a deeper level it’s a coping strategy. It stems from being denied the ability to express who you are with safety when you were a child and if addiction is living in a family, everyone in it will experience pain and instability. Fortunately, safe connection is the all encompassing nature of the divine feminine, and when awakened, we walk the journey of learning to fully see and fully feel.
Enlightened living understands all experience comes from the inside out. To me, the journey from trauma to empowerment is innerwork. It is the process of meeting your needs over and over until a clearing in the psyche takes place and you feel your wholeness emanating from the inside out. Once we make changes to our inner relational worlds, those healthier ways will naturally mirror to those around us. When I am with my friend lately, this is what I feel most of the time. It is a wonderful and new experience and it started from within me. It starts with us! Then it grows into our families, our communities, and eventually to our government.
This is why I’ve chosen to end this blog with some insights into the vice presidential debate that took place on October 7th, 2020. Since March 2020, I have been reading this energetic file: There is a revolution happening in the United States, and the dominant pulse is that people are rising. People are learning—through the unlikely character of Donald Trump and the white hats, that realizing their own version of the American Dream is possible. At the very root it is the pulse of EMPOWERMENT. For humanity to make this journey, we must move from separation to wholeness. We need to look at the pain, acknowledge it, and as the barrier dissolves between what was hidden, the collective will see more. The metaphorical closet door has been opened and with every day that passes we will only see more and more of what is inside.
I realize that perspective is also dependent on what you believe the truth to be. If you believe the mainstream media, you will see one way and if you believe the alternative news, the whistleblowers, or read the Executive Orders released by the White House, you will see another. Both versions say very different things which I found to be the most interesting part of the debate. Both parties presented ‘facts,’ (which to me mean lived experiences through spoken word and actions, that include dates and times) yet they offered polarizing information. Which party you believe depends on the research that you do. It depends on how deep you dig, what your brain allows to exist (some of the subject matter feels worthy of science fiction!), and what lessons your soul is pulsing you to learn.
Innocently giving our power away over past generations is what has collectively taken us to this place. We have placed trust in our media and government—our metaphorical parents. I believe that if parents are healthy and whole, they will raise healthy and whole children, and if parents are traumatized they will raise traumatized children—this is generational trauma. It is no different with our governments and the time has come to acknowledge its effect. To see it, love it, understand it, embrace it. By learning the lesson, we graduate from living the same cycle of experience over again. That is how soul growth works. We are in crucial and very exciting times! Dig deeper, listen to your heart, allow the bubble of the mainstream media to pop (you might feel this happen now in this crisp month of October), and stay rested in your own unique truth.
Life is a friend.
Learn to be your own friend first,
And even your enemies will be a friend to your soul,